INTRODUCTION TO THE MICHAEL BART LP

Hi, we're Ben and Darrell, or as we are known to a slew of amateur undergound wrestling organizations- Humidifier vs. Dehumidifier. This is an album we made as the result of a years worth of sporadic but intensely sweaty recording sessions. We don't know too much about music or recording technology, but we plugged some shit into Garageband and the resulting explosion was The Michael Bart LP. It was free for us to make and it's free for you to have. So download it, burn it onto a CD, give it to your friends as last minute thoughtless gift, or sell it to make a sweet sweet dirty profit.

Suggested song order:

1. The Gun Has Gone Off!
2. Little Mo Kin
3. Spoonboy's Revenge
4. Werewolf Love
5. Lucky Thursday
6. Patchwork Pretty
7. (Do You Wanna Go) Out Tonight?
8. Horses -or- You Should've Learned This By Now
9. Tan 3 (Funky Version)

Humidifier vs. Dehumidifier is:
Darrell (33.3%) Vocals, Guitars
Ben (66.6%) Vocals, Bass, Percussion & Percussive Sequencing

Contact: huvsde@gmail.com

LINER NOTES

1. The Gun Has Gone Off!

I don't quite remember the circumstances under which this was written, but this song is about leaving school and feeling a bit worried about losing the luster and subscribing to some sort of genre of routine. I know it sounds trite and it's not meant to chastize any sort of routine, it's more about how the phrase "this is the begining of the rest of your life" can sound like "dead man walking." I'm so dramatic, I know.

- ben

The title of prodigy can no longer be claimed
So please step in line and kindly receive your name
Is it burn out, working stiff and or the military
Come on I ain't got all day for the year of 83

Well move onto the next table and remember to check
The box next to comfort which you have selected
Is it the gods who keep you in your place?
Is it Jesus who's smothered you with a redeeming fate?
Have the advertisers convinced you of no room to think?
Or do you say a couple of brews will just work out the kinks?

Well, I don't care what you put
But you can't stand here

Because the gun has gone off
Yeah man didn't you hear?
Yeah the gun has gone off
You've got everything to fear
Yeah the gun has gone off
And it won't take long
For the bullet to hit your head

 

2. Little Mo Kin

This was the first song I had written after what felt like a long dry spell of not being able to churn out lyrics after the Konami Code broke up. A friend had shown me these videos from North Korea of these "Genius Kids". They played xylophones and sang these really sugary slash scary songs as part of a bizarre showcase of how majestic and glorious their nation and leader was or is or whatever. The gem of it all was this girl Mo Kin, who is basically Kim Jong Il's answer to Shirley Temple. So in a ripped off Slackers/Elvis Costello style of masking politics with love, I was inspired to write this song. It's been over a year since I wrote it, and for a while I was worried it would lose it's relevance. Unfortunately it did not.

- ben

Oh little Mo Kin how you tickle those keys
Because your daddy he's watching you
Oh little Mo Kin don't you turn away from me
Don't you know I hate my daddy too

I've seen your school girl blue skirts
Marching like they're brown shirts
Confident of millions dead
But it's no Northern sensation
Our boys bring you salvation
If you just swallow their heaven sent lead

Oh little Mo Kin we are so the same
Even though you only smile and I only complain
If only our daddies could live together

Then it would take one bullet
And once is forever

 

PS- Just in case you didn't get it, I'm not in love with a three year old and this isn't about my dad.

 

3. Spoonboy's Revenge

This is an old song by the hardest working band in punk rock, The Max Levine Ensemble. Way back in high school I went to this weird party and met a really nice guy by the name of Spoonboy. We started talking and soon established that we had both started punk rock bands. My band (and consequently Ben's as well) was The Konami Code, Spoonboy's was The Max Levine Ensemble. This was the first TMLE track I ever heard. When I listened to it I was blown away. These guys had started the same time as us, but they were light years ahead. TMLE always encouraged me to work harder as a musician, and this cover is dedicated to those early days of uncertainty.

- darrell

You can find the lyrics at their website: http://tmle.terrorware.com

 

4. Werewolf Love

This is either a song about how sometimes it can be hard to love someone, or a poorly veiled Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference. It might also be both...

- darrell

If I was walking in the forest and by chance I got attacked
By a monster nearly 8ft tall with wolf eyes and a hairy back
With bite marks on my body from my head down to my toe
Could you still love me once a month when I turned into an animal?

Whoa...Werewolf Love

Could you lock me in a cage a watch me while I change,
A gun pointed at my heart with silver bullets in the chamber?
Could you live with yourself if I was ever to get free,
And do this to someone else or maybe hurt your family?

Whoa...Werewolf Love

 

5. Lucky Thursday

This song was the result of trying to write a soul song at like three in the morning. We came up with this riff, and discovered that if you slow down a soul style drum beat it kinda sounds like something you'd hear at Fort Reno. So we decided to make it a song about Fort Reno and the DC scene in general. Even though this album was recorded in New York City, our hearts were definitely in DC.

- berrell

Lucky Thursday
Isn't this nice
Being together
On a summer night

Lucky Thursday
Isn't this nice
Being together
On a summer night
Isn't this nice

I think I had to leave my house
To see what was going on at home
And where I went they pushed me back out the door
With their too much fighting on the dancefloor
And where I went back
Back to haunted by the ghosts of before
But no not anymore
Not anymore
Not anymore

Lucky Thursday
Isn't this nice
Being together
On a summer night
Isn't this nice

Lucky Thursday
In Washington, DC
What a place to be
What a place to be

Lucky Thursday
Isn't this nice
And babies and dogs are all right

 

6. Patchwork Pretty

So check it- I had this phat ass beat and this catchy as fuck bass line, and I showed it to Darrell and he was all like, "Check this shit out." And he played some guitar, and it was sweet. And then I was like, "Let me write some lyrics," but Darrell was like "No, this doesn't even NEED lyrics." Though he might have said "No, THIS doesn't even need LYRICS," I can't remember.

So anyways, it's about a girl.

- berrell

 

7. (Do You Wanna Go) Out Tonight?

The music started as a 90's alt rock tune and the lyrics started as the rehashing of a romance I had already written about. Somehow it turned into a bass driven pop punk tune about how awesome going to shows is. (Mostly because I lost the first set of lyrics I wrote for it.) Note the Smashing Pumpkins homage.

- ben

Do you wanna go out tonight?
I heard they're playing together

We've been stuck inside all week
Yeah yeah yeah
And we'd rather be deaf and sweaty
So let's go
If you're around you might hear our sound
It goes

Nah nah nah. . .

And we don't even care
To shake these zipper blues
Your friends think we suck
But they've got no clue cuz

We're not really killing it
No
We're dancing to be bruised
Yeah this would all be it
Uh huh
If you'd let me choose
Because being young is the best thing I've ever done
When we sung

Nah nah nah. . .

 

8. Horses -or- You Should've Learned This By Now

It never ceases to amaze me that 150lb primates were able to coerce an animal nearly 10 times their size to plow their farms and charge headlong into certain death with them. I mean when you stand them right next to each other it's clear who has the advantage in size and strength. Our government has declared war on an idea...let's try not to forget who's bigger than who.

- darrell

To ride into battle with a monkey on your back
Takes some kind of guts
Or no sense at all...

We're stuck in the middle
We know nothing of edges
It's a carrot on a stick, boys,
That's driving us over ledges
We do their plowing for them
We get down and dirty
And where are they?
They're laughing at us
They're laughing at us

It's true we may not be that bright
And maybe we don't walk upright
But our backs are strong and we'll hold on
We'll bare that burden for you

Horses, horses, horses...that's all that we are

 

9. Tan 3 (Funky Version)

I wrote the bass line for this years and years ago. Originally it was to be more of a dreary reggae tune, but I thought it went well with this latin dancehall beat. So hopefully this will be one of several versions of Tan. The melodica and keys were provided by Roy Harter.

- ben